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A
Man Called Sanjuro 5
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Sanjuro
Takes the Kozo in Hong Kong Challenge*
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I'd like
to start this column with two random facts.
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One, at a
certain video chain in Singapore, customers can get a
free copy of Para Para Sakura with every purchase. However,
it should be noted that customers are also free to turn
down such "compensation" if they wish and choose
the straight-to-video sequel Mimic 2 instead. Make of
that what you will. |
Action Figure Re-enactment of Sanjuro's Initial
D Encounter |
Two,
while at the IMM Building in Singapore, I got
the opportunity to see Takumi Fujiwara's Toyota
Trueno AE86, a.k.a. the Initial D car-apparently
one of the actual cars used in the filming of
the live-action Initial D movie (or at the very
least, a snazzy replica). Unfortunately, I was
sans camera, so I couldn't take a photo, nor did
I have a chance to go back. Even more frustrating,
the stars of Initial D came to Singapore for the
premiere. Sadly, by that time, I was already on
a plane back to Hawaii. |
Onward…
It's been a long time since I've written one of these
columns, and so much has changed in the meantime.
I've moved to Hawaii, started graduate school, and
even eaten dinner at Jackie Chan's restaurant. All
three are life-altering events in their own right,
but I'll save those stories for another time. Instead,
I'd like to share some pictures I took on my recent
vacation. Y'see, I went to Singapore to attend an
academic conference and visit my family, and for a
few days, I was lucky enough to spend some time in
a place known as…wait for it…Hong Kong.
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| One Nite
in Mongkok |
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It was on this short
trip that the very first face-to-face meeting between
Sanjuro and Kozo took place, although not on top of
the Infernal Affairs building as we had hoped. The Webmaster
was nice enough to show me around, treat me to dinner,
and lead me on a daring quest through a labyrinth of
Mongkok specialty shops to find an elusive Metal Gear
Solid Kubrick. Believe me, it's more exciting than it
sounds. Along the way, we saw some sights:
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Hey, it's
outside the Infernal Affairs movie theater!
(Actually the Golden Harvest Gateway in Tsimshatsui)
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Although Kozo and I are
separated by an ocean and have only communicated via
e-mail and ICQ, I have to say we hit it off pretty well.
We get along better than Edison Chen and Shawn Yuee.
No wait, bad example. Andy Lau and Leon Lai? No, that's
not right. Uh…forget the analogy. We got along great.
I mean, Kozo may think I'm a complete tool, but I thought
that for someone who supposedly "hates everything,"
he sure was a nice guy. After a DVD shopping spree,
our fun and games were interrupted when the all-seeing
eye cast his gaze upon us!
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The Great
and Powerful Ekin Sees All
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As we ran away in fear,
the two of us forgot to take a picture together. Maybe
next time.
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| Buddhas
and Boats |
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One of the most impressive
sights on my trip to Hong Kong besides the Ekin Cheng
billboard would have to be the Sakyamuni Buddha on Lantau
Island. It can be seen in films like Infernal Affairs
3 and Bullets of Love, to name a few:
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And hey, according to
my tour guide, this boat belongs to Leon Lai. Whoo-hoo.
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Hey kids, it's Leon Lai's boat! Whoa!
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| The
Black Sabre |
Director:
Wong Kar-Wai
Cast: Ekin Cheng Yee-Kin,
Tony Leung
Chiu-Wai,
Maggie Cheung
Man-Yuk,
Zhang Ziyi |
"This will prove that I am the greatest actor in
Hong Kong!" |
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While
this epic Gu Long novel has been adapted before as a film
and television serial, its heartbreaking storyline is
just begging for the Wong Kar-Wai treatment. Based on
what the noted auteur did with Louis Cha's characters
in Ashes of Time, Wong Kar-Wai would likely craft
an award-winning, existential drama about the desire for
parental acceptance, the futility of revenge, and the
unending pain of lost love. Also, Ekin Cheng could finally
garner some critical praise by taking the lead role of
Fu Hung-Suet, a stoic, seemingly heartless killer who
over the course of the film lets a little tenderness bubble
to the surface. Add Christopher Doyle as cinematographer,
Tony Leung Chiu-Wai as the happy-go-lucky Yip Hoi, and
Maggie Cheung and Zhang Ziyi as each swordsman's love
interest, and you've got the next contender for Best Foreign
Film at the Academy Awards. Barring Miramax's involvement,
of course. |
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| Wong
Fei-Hong in Love |
Director:
Stephen Chow Sing-Chi,
Lee Lik-Chee
Action: Ching Siu-Tung
Cast: Stephen Chow Sing-Chi,
Vicki Zhao Wei, Nick
Cheung Ka-Fai, Ng
Man-Tat,
Wong Yat-Fei,
Xiong Xin-Xin,
Lee Kin-Yan,
Lam Chi-Chung,
Chan Kwok-Kwan, Lam Chi-Sin,
Tin Kai-Man |
"I possess the magic
finger!" |
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Kwan
Tak-Hing, Jackie Chan, and Jet Li have all famously played
the part of Chinese folk hero Wong Fei-Hong, but now it's
Hong Kong funnyman Stephen Chow's turn to spark some life
into this well-worn character. Chow's take on the Wong
Fei-Hong mythology would definitely pique the public's
interest. One can only imagine how he'd portray Fei-Hong's
hilariously chaste relationship with Aunt Yee (Vicki Zhao),
as well as the venerable sifu's interactions with bumbling
disciples Foon (Nick Cheung), Porky (Ng Man-Tat), and
Bucktoothed So (Wong Yat-Fei). Throw in a spectacular
wire-fu fight with consummate HK heavy Xiong Xin-Xin at
the climax, and you've got a genre-bending comedy classic
on your hands. |
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| The
Trouble with Twins |
Director:
Andrew
Lau Wai-Keung,
Alan Mak Siu-Fai
Cast: Nicholas Tse Ting-Fung,
Twins, Eric
Tsang Chi-Wai,
Francis Ng Chun-Yu,
Anthony Wong
Chau-Sang,
Ng Chi-Hung, Roy
Cheung Yiu-Yeung, Jerry
Lamb Hiu-Fung |
"These smiles were surgically applied." |
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For
good or for ill, the Twins are a certifiable pop phenomenon.
Consequently, it would be insane for HK filmmakers not
to capitalize on their popularity. Casting the duo in
a teenybopper film is a given, but what would happen if
these beloved idols were cast in more serious, hard-boiled
fare? That's the basis of my next proposal, a crime drama
starring Nicholas Tse, Francis Ng, Anthony Wong, and Ng
Chi-Hung as cold-blooded kidnappers who snatch billionaire
Eric Tsang's precocious daughters (Charlene Choi and Gillian
Chung), holding them for a hefty ransom. But the two ingénues
may not be as helpless as they seem, both using their
feminine wiles to turn kidnapper against kidnapper in
a crafty bid for freedom. And once the pretty pair get
greenhorn Nicholas Tse on their side, well, let's just
say, IT ALL GOES TO HELL! Yeah, I know the mixing of pop
stars with a serious film noir plot might seem like a
recipe for disaster, but if handled well, it might just
be crazy enough to work. It all depends on whether the
Twins wouldn't mind tweaking their saccharine sweet images. |
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| The
East Runs Red |
Director:
The Pang Brothers
Cast: Louis Koo Tin-Lok,
Miriam Yeung
Chin-Wah,
Lau Ching-Wan,
Yuen Wah |
"Teach me everything, sifu!" |
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To
capitalize on the recent trend towards horror in Asian
cinema, Troublesome Night veteran Louis Koo should
return to his roots, but this time join forces with Danny
and Oxide Pang, the directing duo responsible for the
highly successful fright-fest, The Eye. The hopping
vampire genre is in dire need of a contemporary update,
and the Pang brothers seem to be just the guys for the
job. An A-list cast is essential, but including vampire
film veteran Yuen Wah as a modern variation on the One
Eyebrow Priest (made famous by the late Lam Ching-Ying)
would be a fitting tip of the hat to the scary films of
yesteryear. As evidenced by their work in The Eye,
the Pang Brothers could no doubt craft a film chock full
of chilling atmosphere, unrelenting terror, and genuine
scares that might very well set a new standard for Hong
Kong horror. |
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| LoveHKFilm.com
- The Movie |
Director:
Wong Jing
Action: Yuen Woo-Ping
Cast: Takeshi
Kaneshiro, Leon Lai Ming,
Owen Wilson [voice only], Tadanobu Asano, Julianne Moore,
Aaron
Kwok Fu-Sing,
Maggie Q, Hideo Kojima,
Anya,
Anthony Wong
Chau-Sang,
Sophie Ngan Chin-Man,
Sisqo, Danny Lee Sau-Yin,
Goro Kishitani, and Stefanie Sun Yan-Zi as Sammi Cheng |
"Being a webmaster is lonely." |
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Wong
Jing blackmails Takeshi Kaneshiro into taking the lead
role of Kozo in this action-packed tale of love, betrayal,
and film criticism. Watch in awe as Kozo tries to juggle
work, a movie website, harassing e-mails, and his burgeoning
relationship with two rocket scientists (Maggie Q and
Anya)! Gasp in shock as schoolteacher Sanjuro (Leon Lai,
dubbed by Owen Wilson) violates school policy by showing
some backwater hicks the joy of Stephen Chow movies! Applaud
boisterously as forum moderator RainDog (Tadanobu Asano)
goes door-to-door gunning down forum trolls for their
internet insolence! And cringe in fear as Magicvoice quits
her job to open a char siu bao stand with her seemingly
innocent new pal from Hong Kong, Wong Chi-Hang (Anthony
Wong). And that's not all, kiddies! After a long sabbatical
due to his involvement in Para Para Sakura, Aaron
Kwok finally returns to acting, here portraying well-coiffed,
happy-go-lucky pop idol Egg Shen Chang who—thanks
to an overzealous fan base—finds himself unwillingly
drawn into deadly war of words with our hero, Kozo! You
won't believe your eyes when you see the Yuen Woo-Ping-coordinated,
capoeira-infused dance-off between Kozo and Egg Shen at
the film's climax! LoveHKFilm?
You better believe it! |
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Hmm, on second thought, maybe I should just
stick to reviewing movies. - Sanjuro 07/04/03
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*DISCLAIMER:
The opinions expressed within this column are nothing more
than random words cobbled together by this particular writer.
Those who would take issue with his opinions may contact him
here, though he
would much rather you send him words of praise, extravagant
gifts, cash donations, or best of all, Sun Yanzi's home phone
number. Thank you, and good night.
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