The Man on the Street
Ekin Cheng in 2004 talk to the Man on the Street to discover the issues facing the common man.

How has 2004 been treating you?
"Pretty good. I've become exponentially more beautiful since the millenium, which only causes problems if you're not me." - Michelle Reis
"Hmm, not so well. I thought they were finally going to make Gen-Z Cops, which I hoped would reinvigorate my career. But it didn't happen. Now I'm making Troublesome Night 47 with Edison Chen. Please kill me."
- Sam Lee
Charlene Choi: talented?
"Heh, I would have to have private 'casting sessions' with each of them before I could tell you who was more talented. Or better yet, I would have a casting session with both at the same time! Please excuse my drooling." - Jordan Chan
"Yeah right! That whiny bitch couldn't act her way out of a paper bag! I've been carrying the two of us for years. I hope they finally pair me with Stephy Tang for New Twins! Oh, don't tell Charlene I said this." - Gillian Chung
Gillian Chung: talented?
"She's delightful and very talented! At first I thought she would be as untalented and uninteresting as the other Twin, but Gillian has shown surprising emotional depth! I loved her in My Wife is 18!" - Chow Yun-Fat
"No way! I used to think so, but now I know that she's just a toadying little princess who flatters the directors to get better lighting. She also sucks up to the music engineers. Adorable, my ass! Oh, don't tell Gillian I said this." - Charlene Choi
Is America going to hell?
"America is going through a moral crisis! The female celebrities expose their bodies and prance around shamelessly for publicity! No wonder they get groped by their fans, or harrassed by the media! In my opinion, they deserve everything they get!"
- Cecilia Cheung
"It's all a question of leadership and accountability. If America had a strong, forthright leader with good moral fiber, then it wouldn't be in its current predicament. I fully support Ekin Cheng in 2004!" - some random nameless guy
Paper or plastic?
"Paper. It's bio-degradable, unlike compact discs, which are taking up space in landfills all over China. I know my CDs aren't bio-degradable, but who's going to throw them away? It's not like I'm Edison Chen or something."
- Jacky Cheung
"I would say plastic. Have you tried using paper contraceptives? They really hold up poorly. And hey, I have enough kids as it is!!" - Jackie Chan
Edison Chen: talented?
"Of course he is! Only someone with talent could have played a young me in Infernal Affairs! Besides, didn't you see him in Metade Fumaca and Time and Tide? That boy can really act! What? No, I've never actually met Edison Chen." - Andy Lau
"Talent isn't the issue. I always judge men on other important assets, which in Edison's case are a little below average. He doesn't know this, but I snuck a peek at him backstage at the MTV Asia Awards. I feel nauseous just thinking about it."
- Candy Lo
What are you laughing about?
"I'm so happy that Kozo is gone! Yeah, I know he liked my movies, but he always bitched about my buddy Wong Jing! Yo Kozo, you can mess with Ekin Cheng all you want, but nobody touches Fatboy!" - Stephen Chow

"They just greenlit Golden Chicken 3! I hear that this time I play a happy hooker in space! I'll be called upon to service Aaron Kwok, who plays a bisexual hermaphrodite. Wow, these Hong Kong screenwriters are amazing!" - Sandra Ng

What will Kozo do now?
"I don't know, but I wish him well. I'm hoping that he pitches a tent outside Miriam Yeung's house. It'll be sad to see him leave his camping spot in my front yard, but a guy has to move on. Besides, the lawn needs mowing." - Sammi Cheng
"Who cares? All I know is he better watch his back! Hey Kozo, I'm coming to kick your ass for all your mean reviews! You watch yourself; I have the death sentence in twelve systems! What, you'll be careful? You'll be dead!" - Bat Leung-Gum
You're popular: how does that feel?
"Like a million bucks! I owe it all to the tan. Before I got bronzed, I was just some two-bit guy in Troublesome Night movies. Now I'm a major heartthrob and box-office draw. Thank you, Coppertone!" - Louis Koo
"Are you sure I'm popular? My movies make money, but people keep calling me 'Fake Sammi'." And now that Kozo guy lives on my front lawn! How's my gardener going to mow the lawn?" - Miriam Yeung
What is your greatest accomplishment?
"Breaking free from Category III movies was my greatest accomplishment. Thanks to that, I now get taken seriously, and have even been called Asia's best actress! Boy, people are stupid." - Shu Qi
"Breaking free from Category III movies was my greatest accomplishment. What? You haven't seen any of my Category III movies? Uh...that's because there aren't any. Yeah, that's right. Really, I mean it! Don't try to find them!" - Anya
Who's the man?
"I am! Did you see me in Partners! I kicked ass! I was also really, really good in City of SARS. Nobody can play fat, annoying guys like me! Hey, I dare Tony Leung Chiu-Wai to work these eyebrows!" - Eric Tsang
"It would have to be Stephen Chow! His movies are so funny, and always make a ton of money! I love appearing in them because I'm just happy to support him! Did you hear that, Sing Jai? Please hire me again! I need the work." - Christy Chung
Your career is over: how do you feel?
"Well, I never really liked my career anyway. Girls like Maggie and Brigitte got all that great press, but I was always being called a 'Flower Vase'. You think it's easy being this pretty? Surgery like this costs money!"
- Joey Wong
"My career is over? It's about time! I was only doing it for the chicks, anyway. At least my boyz are backing me. They gave me props even when you all thought I had a future. Took the peeps long enough to figure out that I had no talent. You all got no skillz." - Edison Chen

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