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Life with Kozo - June 13th, 2003
"The Celebrity Edition"*
In a break from the usual Webmaster rantings, this new edition of Life with Kozo
will feature testimonials from a number of noted individuals.

Why is Kozo reviewing fewer movies?
"His ego has grown too big. I understand what it's like to be popular; you need discipline. He just has to learn how to balance his celebrity with his work. I expect him to start writing more when he gets out of rehab." - Anita Mui
"Quantity doesn't matter—it's the quality of his work! In the last ten years I've only made one movie: Winner Takes All! Everyone knows that was a cinema classic! I think Kozo should write one review a year!" - Karl Maka
Does Kozo like his new job?
"He better like it! I could tell him what it's like to compromise your art for money! Do you think I like playing wacky psychos and rapists all the time? I do it because I have to! I really wanted to be a lumberjack!"
- Simon Yam
"I don't think it matters. Sometimes you have no choice but to get a new job. Look at me: I was once the biggest actress in Hong Kong. Now I work at KFC."
- Anita Yuen
Is Kozo raking in bank?
"Probably not. All Kozo does is sit around, watch stuff and then type up some crap. Any Form 4 student could do that! Besides, I don't make anything, and I reveal points for a living!"
- Sophie Ngan
"He must be! How else could he waste so much time doing something so useless as LoveHKFilm.com? Some of us actually have to work! It's good that I'm a debonair, handsome movie star. It makes life easier."
- Alfred Cheung
Why does Kozo hate Ekin Cheng?
"I don't think Kozo hates him. I think he just likes to tease Ekin. I like to tease Ekin too. In fact, I'll tease anyone who's not as beautiful as I am. I don't have many friends."
- Michelle Reis
"Hey, I hate him too. Doesn't everyone hate Ekin Cheng?"
- Stephen Fung
How's Kozo's social life?
"It must be going pretty well, because whenever I ask him to hang out, he turns me down, and hey—I'm a pretty cool dude. What's that? Yes, I always wear this hat."
- Aaron Kwok
"It must be tough being in a new town and all, but I'm sure he's making the best of it. I've offered to visit to cheer him up, but he says he's too busy to see me. I think he's gay."
- Gillian Chung
Does Kozo really
like Sammi that much?
"Like I care! What I want to know is why he doesn't like me as much as Sammi. Heck, why doesn't everyone like me as much as Sammi? I'm younger, cuter, and have a greater upside. And I come in a package deal."
- Charlene Choi
"I don't think so. If he did, he wouldn't be asking me out all the time. I already told him that I only go for guys who speak Mandarin. Besides, I hate guys with Ekin Cheng hair."
- Stefanie Sun Yan-Zi
What did you think of Matrix Reloaded?
"I don't get it! They took four years to make that film. What could take that long? All my movies took less than two weeks to make, and we made them up on the spot! It was my idea to give myself nude scenes."
- Billy Lau
"My mouth is stuck like this after seeing The Matrix Reloaded! Those freaking special effects were awesome! I may never eat solid food again!"
- Sam Lee
How's Kozo doing?
"He must be doing really bad, because he doesn't make sense anymore. The other day he saw me and screamed 'Buckwheat!' Then he ran away really fast. I don't know what's wrong with that boy."
- Maggie Cheung

"Kozo? He's my boy! That's right, dawg! We're tight, yo! He's one chilly customer, that Kozo. That's right, the Ed Is On! Ed has mad skillz!" - Edison Chen

How does Kozo feel about his site?
"I think he likes his site because he's always working on it. I would never do anything that I didn't like. Well, I didn't like Naked Weapon. And I thought For Bad Boys Only was crap too. Hell, maybe Kozo hates his web site." - Anya
"Who gives a sh*t about his site? That f*ck*r just threw a brick at me for making The Peeping! I'm going to open up a can of wushu whup-ass on Kozo! Damn you, Naked Weapon was good!"
- Daniel Wu
Can he get me in touch with Shu Qi?
"I sure hope so. That girl hasn't talked to me in ages. Everyone likes to talk about how she's my 'rumored girlfriend', but she never returns my calls. Is she still pissed at me for Dream of a Warrior?" - Leon Lai
"No...but I could! I could also get you in touch with Cecilia Cheung and her plastic surgeon. Man, that guy does great work! I would ask him to work on me, but why mess with a perfect thing?"
- Jordan Chan
Kozo isn't quitting, is he?
"I'd like him to quit! Maybe if he stops ripping on my movies, I can once again charm audiences with my delightful filmmaking skills. If it weren't for all of Kozo's crap, I'd have made four more Raped by an Angel movies." - Wong Jing
"He shouldn't quit. If I've learned anything from quitting, it's that you totally lose popularity. One day when he's unknown and stops getting hate mail, he'll regret it! I know I do."
- Charlie Young
Is Kozo angry all the time?
"I feel so sorry for that boy. He has so much pent up anger. I think he's going to lose it and start hating every Korean movie he sees too. That would be just awful."
- Law Lan
"F*ck Kozo! I'm angry all the time!" - Nicholas Tse

Why the name 'Kozo'?
"Kozo is a much cooler name than the one he's got. If I were named after one of the characters on 'Friends', I'd totally change my name. Plus, Kozo is a Japanese name. Japanese people kick ass!"
- Takeshi Kaneshiro
"I think it's a great stage name. It's different and unusual, and gives the audience a certain feeling. My name also does that. When people think of me, they think of stuff that's drippy, wet, and ruins picnics." - Rain Li
Can Kozo stop being mean to Ekin?
"I would like him to, but it just wouldn't be fair. After all, I roast him every chance I get! I based my dopey character in My Wife is Eighteen on Kozo, except he could never get an eighteen year-old wife! And my hair is better." - Ekin Cheng
"Is this question going to get me an acting award? No? Then why should I bother answering? Don't waste my time with this crap! Next question!"
- Tony Leung Chiu-Wai


*DISCLAIMER: the testimonials on this page were entirely made up. The reader is responsible
for what he or she chooses to believe. LoveHKFilm.com and its associated parties will bear no responsibility
for an individual's gullibility, even if that individual possesses obviously poor skills of perception.
LoveHKFilm.com Copyright 2002-2017 Ross Chen