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A
Man Called Sanjuro
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"Seven
films to Save Hong Kong Cinema"*
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The
Webmaster has been gracious enough to allow me have a
small corner of LoveHKFilm.com
to house my own peculiar musings on love, life, and Hong
Kong cinema. Well, mainly it'll cover Hong Kong cinema,
but I want to leave my options open.
Keeping that in mind, I'd
like to begin my first column by discussing the uncertain
tomorrow of the Hong Kong film industry. Thanks to a dearth
of new material, I haven't reviewed a movie in little
over a week. So to pass the time until the next shipment
of films arrives at my doorstep, I spent the last few
days or so revisiting some of my favorite Hong Kong flicks,
most notably Chungking
Express and Once
Upon a Time in China II. During both those films,
I found myself wondering, "Why can't Hong Kong cinema
be like this again?" As much as I enjoyed recent
blockbusters like Infernal
Affairs, the truly fantastic films have been few and
far between lately. Back in those glory days of yore,
there were so many great films released in such quick
succession, that I can't help but hope that the same thing
would happen once more—in essence, I want a Hong
Kong Renaissance.
So submitted for your approval,
I've compiled a list of films that I believe would help
revitalize Hong Kong cinema. However, despite my penchant
for sophomoric humor (see LoveHKFilm.com's
April Fool's Joke), I've
tried to be somewhat serious about my movie choices. I've
even gone so far as to exclude such heavy hitters as Chow
Yun-Fat, Jet Li, John Woo, and Michelle Yeoh from the
selection process since they seem to have invested their
filmmaking interests outside of Hong Kong. I also ruled
out including sequels (alas, no Storm Riders 2),
though some of the concepts and characters I've included
will be familiar to some movie fans. And yes, I'm dead
serious about my choices.
Well, not necessarily the last
one. |
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| Journey
to the West |
Director: Tsui
Hark
Cast: Jackie
Chan,
Sammo Hung Kam-Bo,
Yuen Biao,
Cecilia Cheung
Pak-Chi,
Brigitte Lin
Ching-Hsia |
"I am the Monkey
King! I can do anything!" |
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A
big screen adaptation of Wu Cheng-En's classic novel would
be a dream come true for Tsui Hark, who's been prepping
his own Journey to the West film for some time
now. After such duds as the Black Mask sequel and
The Legend of Zu, this epic fantasy could definitely
serve as a comeback vehicle for the slumping, yet still
talented director. Though the likelihood of assembling
this particular cast might prove difficult, the attraction
of a long-overdue "Three Brothers" reunion is
too great an opportunity to pass up. The characters seem
tailor-made for each actor: the mischievous Monkey King
(Jackie Chan), the gluttonous Bajie (Sammo Hung), and
the underrated Wujing (Yuen Biao). The story would likely
have to be turned into a trilogy or multi-part series,
but as Lord of the Rings proved, people are willing to
sit through long-running epics and their sequels. Boasting
computer effects by the folks at Centro Digital, an all-star
cast (Brigitte Lin as Guan-Yin is a must), and the swansong
of three of the "Seven Little Fortunes," Journey
to the West would have all the makings of a modern
day classic. |
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| What
Now? |
Director:
Johnnie
To Kei-Fung,
Wai Ka-Fai
Cast: Andy
Lau Tak-Wah,
Sammi Cheng Sau-Man,
Sonny Chiba, Cheng
Pei-Pei, Jacky
Cheung Hok-Yau, Lam
Suet, Hui Siu-Hung,
Bonnie Wong Man-Wai,
Raymond Wong Ho-Yin |
"I'm doing this for
the money." |
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Picture
it: Andy Lau dashes after a distraught Sammi Cheng, catches
up to her and finally declares his love and proposes marriage.
She willingly accepts, and they kiss. Pretty clichéd,
huh? Yeah, it sounds like the ending of every romantic
comedy in the history of cinema, but get this: all that
happens before the opening credits! That's the innovative
premise behind this proposed Milky Way production: it
doesn't focus on how its characters get together, but
instead on how they stay together. Namely, how does Andy
deal with Sammi's wacky behavior within the context of
a real relationship? How does our groom-to-be react when
he's given the third degree by his fiancée's dour
parents (played by Sonny Chiba and Cheng Pei-Pei)? And
what happens when her ne'er do well brother (Jacky Cheung)
tries to hit Andy up for some cash? It's romantic hilarity
all the way to the altar in this atypical Lunar New Year
comedy! |
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| The
Black Sabre |
Director:
Wong Kar-Wai
Cast: Ekin Cheng Yee-Kin,
Tony Leung
Chiu-Wai,
Maggie Cheung
Man-Yuk,
Zhang Ziyi |
"This will prove that I am the greatest actor in
Hong Kong!" |
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While
this epic Gu Long novel has been adapted before as a film
and television serial, its heartbreaking storyline is
just begging for the Wong Kar-Wai treatment. Based on
what the noted auteur did with Louis Cha's characters
in Ashes of Time, Wong Kar-Wai would likely craft
an award-winning, existential drama about the desire for
parental acceptance, the futility of revenge, and the
unending pain of lost love. Also, Ekin Cheng could finally
garner some critical praise by taking the lead role of
Fu Hung-Suet, a stoic, seemingly heartless killer who
over the course of the film lets a little tenderness bubble
to the surface. Add Christopher Doyle as cinematographer,
Tony Leung Chiu-Wai as the happy-go-lucky Yip Hoi, and
Maggie Cheung and Zhang Ziyi as each swordsman's love
interest, and you've got the next contender for Best Foreign
Film at the Academy Awards. Barring Miramax's involvement,
of course. |
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| Wong
Fei-Hong in Love |
Director:
Stephen Chow Sing-Chi,
Lee Lik-Chee
Action: Ching Siu-Tung
Cast: Stephen Chow Sing-Chi,
Vicki Zhao Wei, Nick
Cheung Ka-Fai, Ng
Man-Tat,
Wong Yat-Fei,
Xiong Xin-Xin,
Lee Kin-Yan,
Lam Chi-Chung,
Chan Kwok-Kwan, Lam Chi-Sin,
Tin Kai-Man |
"I possess the magic
finger!" |
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Kwan
Tak-Hing, Jackie Chan, and Jet Li have all famously played
the part of Chinese folk hero Wong Fei-Hong, but now it's
Hong Kong funnyman Stephen Chow's turn to spark some life
into this well-worn character. Chow's take on the Wong
Fei-Hong mythology would definitely pique the public's
interest. One can only imagine how he'd portray Fei-Hong's
hilariously chaste relationship with Aunt Yee (Vicki Zhao),
as well as the venerable sifu's interactions with bumbling
disciples Foon (Nick Cheung), Porky (Ng Man-Tat), and
Bucktoothed So (Wong Yat-Fei). Throw in a spectacular
wire-fu fight with consummate HK heavy Xiong Xin-Xin at
the climax, and you've got a genre-bending comedy classic
on your hands. |
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| The
Trouble with Twins |
Director:
Andrew
Lau Wai-Keung,
Alan Mak Siu-Fai
Cast: Nicholas Tse Ting-Fung,
Twins, Eric
Tsang Chi-Wai,
Francis Ng Chun-Yu,
Anthony Wong
Chau-Sang,
Ng Chi-Hung, Roy
Cheung Yiu-Yeung, Jerry
Lamb Hiu-Fung |
"These smiles were surgically applied." |
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For
good or for ill, the Twins are a certifiable pop phenomenon.
Consequently, it would be insane for HK filmmakers not
to capitalize on their popularity. Casting the duo in
a teenybopper film is a given, but what would happen if
these beloved idols were cast in more serious, hard-boiled
fare? That's the basis of my next proposal, a crime drama
starring Nicholas Tse, Francis Ng, Anthony Wong, and Ng
Chi-Hung as cold-blooded kidnappers who snatch billionaire
Eric Tsang's precocious daughters (Charlene Choi and Gillian
Chung), holding them for a hefty ransom. But the two ingénues
may not be as helpless as they seem, both using their
feminine wiles to turn kidnapper against kidnapper in
a crafty bid for freedom. And once the pretty pair get
greenhorn Nicholas Tse on their side, well, let's just
say, IT ALL GOES TO HELL! Yeah, I know the mixing of pop
stars with a serious film noir plot might seem like a
recipe for disaster, but if handled well, it might just
be crazy enough to work. It all depends on whether the
Twins wouldn't mind tweaking their saccharine sweet images. |
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| The
East Runs Red |
Director:
The Pang Brothers
Cast: Louis Koo Tin-Lok,
Miriam Yeung
Chin-Wah,
Lau Ching-Wan,
Yuen Wah |
"Teach me everything, sifu!" |
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To
capitalize on the recent trend towards horror in Asian
cinema, Troublesome Night veteran Louis Koo should
return to his roots, but this time join forces with Danny
and Oxide Pang, the directing duo responsible for the
highly successful fright-fest, The Eye. The hopping
vampire genre is in dire need of a contemporary update,
and the Pang brothers seem to be just the guys for the
job. An A-list cast is essential, but including vampire
film veteran Yuen Wah as a modern variation on the One
Eyebrow Priest (made famous by the late Lam Ching-Ying)
would be a fitting tip of the hat to the scary films of
yesteryear. As evidenced by their work in The Eye,
the Pang Brothers could no doubt craft a film chock full
of chilling atmosphere, unrelenting terror, and genuine
scares that might very well set a new standard for Hong
Kong horror. |
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| LoveHKFilm.com
- The Movie |
Director:
Wong Jing
Action: Yuen Woo-Ping
Cast: Takeshi
Kaneshiro, Leon Lai Ming,
Owen Wilson [voice only], Tadanobu Asano, Julianne Moore,
Aaron
Kwok Fu-Sing,
Maggie Q, Hideo Kojima,
Anya,
Anthony Wong
Chau-Sang,
Sophie Ngan Chin-Man,
Sisqo, Danny Lee Sau-Yin,
Goro Kishitani, and Stefanie Sun Yan-Zi as Sammi Cheng |
"Being a webmaster is lonely." |
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Wong
Jing blackmails Takeshi Kaneshiro into taking the lead
role of Kozo in this action-packed tale of love, betrayal,
and film criticism. Watch in awe as Kozo tries to juggle
work, a movie website, harassing e-mails, and his burgeoning
relationship with two rocket scientists (Maggie Q and
Anya)! Gasp in shock as schoolteacher Sanjuro (Leon Lai,
dubbed by Owen Wilson) violates school policy by showing
some backwater hicks the joy of Stephen Chow movies! Applaud
boisterously as forum moderator RainDog (Tadanobu Asano)
goes door-to-door gunning down forum trolls for their
internet insolence! And cringe in fear as Magicvoice quits
her job to open a char siu bao stand with her seemingly
innocent new pal from Hong Kong, Wong Chi-Hang (Anthony
Wong). And that's not all, kiddies! After a long sabbatical
due to his involvement in Para Para Sakura, Aaron
Kwok finally returns to acting, here portraying well-coiffed,
happy-go-lucky pop idol Egg Shen Chang who—thanks
to an overzealous fan base—finds himself unwillingly
drawn into deadly war of words with our hero, Kozo! You
won't believe your eyes when you see the Yuen Woo-Ping-coordinated,
capoeira-infused dance-off between Kozo and Egg Shen at
the film's climax! LoveHKFilm?
You better believe it! |
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Hmm, on second thought, maybe I should just
stick to reviewing movies. - Sanjuro 07/04/03
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*DISCLAIMER:
The opinions expressed within this column are nothing more
than random words cobbled together by this particular writer.
Those who would take issue with his opinions may contact him
here, though he
would much rather you send him words of praise, extravagant
gifts, cash donations, or best of all, Sun Yanzi's home phone
number. Thank you, and good night.
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