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Archive for June, 2020

The Best 75 Hong Kong Films of the 2010s - Numbers 5-1

We’re finally here. Day 7: The very last post of THE BEST 75 HONG KONG FILMS OF THE 2010s, where one film gets crowned the winner, the others get berated as losers, and we all go home and immediately buy a copy of MEOW. Not because it’s going to show up in the Top 5, but because we’ve mentioned it so many times, you’ve been brainwashed into buying it.

 MEOW
“Take me home!”

Likewise, we’ve made so much fun of Stephy Tang you probably feel like getting all her movies. This is a much better than buying MEOW, because then you’d own THE EMPTY HANDS, TRIVIAL MATTERS, SOMEWHERE BEYOND THE MIST, and one day MY PRINCE EDWARD. You’d also own a majority of Patrick Kong’s works so, well, ha ha.

Nelson

Also, we’ve mentioned Louis Koo so many times that you likely want to buy all his movies, too. But that’s not a big deal because you already own at least 60% of his filmography.

Louis Koo
“I live rent-free. On your shelf.”

The standard boilerplate before we put this thing down: This list was compiled from votes by over 120 readers and passerbys of decomposing website LoveHKFilm.com, and we thank them for their contributions. Also, if you’re just joining this countdown now, by all that is holy go back to the beginning and start the countdown at #75. You could ask me why and question my methods, but then I’d employ common Internet rhetorical devices and tell you to go do your own research, you lazy Russian bot.

Links to previous entries in this series if you need them:
Numbers 75-61
Numbers 60-46
Numbers 45-31
Numbers 30-21
Numbers 20-11
Numbers 10-6

Okay, hit that jump and let’s put this thing to bed.

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The Best 75 Hong Kong Films of the 2010s - Numbers 10-6

Hello and welcome to Day 6 of THE BEST 75 HONG KONG FILMS OF THE 2010s, a list of the notable films from the past decade as determined by readers and passerbys of defunct website LoveHKFilm.com. There’s a whole process behind this and it’s explained somewhere on this site but for now you’ll just have to trust that I’m telling you the truth. You know, just like you do with the media and politicians.

Wong Jing
“I don’t care about money at all! I’m a just a popular artist
who likes making entertaining movies! I’m being honest, really!
This is my real hair and Jeffrey Epstein totally killed himself!”

As always, if you’re just joining us, I suggest - nay, I urge you to go back to the beginning of this countdown to prevent spoilers, readjust expectations, and of course increase this site’s ad revenue, which is so enormous that we gave up running the site a few years back. On the plus side, the site’s revenue did buy me a few cups of coffee. It could have bought me more than just a few, but sadly I went to Starbucks.

This post will reveal numbers 10-6 of the list. As we are now in the Top Ten, every film from here out is likely not a surprise. In fact, I’m sure most semi-active Hong Kong Cinema fans can guess them all, especially if you look back at the list presented in our announcement post and use your brilliant deductive skills to figure them out. I’ll give you a hint and tell you that GOLDEN BROTHER did not make it. Neither did other Stephy Tang movies like SOMEWHERE BEYOND THE MIST or ANNIVERSARY.

She continues to take it well:

Stephy Tang
“This is strangely therapeutic!”

Oh yeah, previous entries if you feel like going back and checking them out:
Numbers 75-61
Numbers 60-46
Numbers 45-31
Numbers 30-21
Numbers 20-11

So hit that jump and let’s start the Top Ten! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I intend on reaching it.

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The Best 75 Hong Kong Films of the 2010s - Numbers 20-11

It’s Day 5 of THE 75 BEST HONG KONG FILMS OF THE 2010s and I’m getting tired of this already. All the best films (i.e., all the Johnnie To or Donnie Yen films) have either placed or have no chance of showing up. Yes, I’m talking about the sadly forgotten THE LOST BLADESMAN a.k.a. ROGUE ONE PREQUEL: CHIRRUT VS BAZE, though one could also make a case for ALL’S WELL ENDS WELL 2011, which starred Donnie Yen as Arnold Cheng, a beauty salesperson whose makeup application techniques are eerily similar to Ip Man’s punches. I’m still upset that they never made the Arnold Cheng spin-off film.

Donnie and Jiang Wen
“Your support for THE LOST BLADESMAN has been disappointing.
We’re this close to coming through the screen to use our Force powers on you.”

So Day 5 features numbers 20-11 of the countdown, meaning we’re nearly at the Top 10. After this post, we’ll slow things down to maybe 5 or fewer films per post. My plan is to stretch this out and make people read THE BEST HONG KONG FILMS OF THE 2010s for at least a couple of months. You know, just like the US lockdowns.

Michael Wong
“Guys! I implore you to listen to me and stay home
because it’s what good people do. What’s that?
No, I haven’t been home in more than a week.”

Oh, and if you’re just joining us go back to the beginning and read everything from the first post. That way you can prolong the torture.

Previous entries if you feel like it:
Numbers 75-61
Numbers 60-46
Numbers 45-31
Numbers 30-21

Hit the jump to see number 20! Let’s end this before civilization collapses.

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The Best 75 Hong Kong Films of the 2010s - Numbers 30-21

Hi and you’re perusing Day 4 of THE BEST 75 HONG KONG FILMS OF THE 2010s. The excitement you’re feeling must be off the charts.

Edison
 ”Does the Ed look excited to you?
Where’s GOLDEN CHICKEN 3?
I was dope in that sh*t.
My hat tells me this vote is a scam.”

Looking at the results thus far, Louis Koo seems ahead in the “person who had the most to do with THE BEST HONG KONG FILMS OF THE 2010s” competition, and that’s even if we don’t count his position as Founder and Supreme God of One Cool Group, which is involved in film production, post-production, film distribution, film equipment rental, artist management, and advanced tanning technology. He’s got that award locked up.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, director Patrick Kong has never had a single film end up on any of our “BEST” lists. Kong has been around since 2004, and delivered consistent output and box office results (read: not spectacular but still decent considering the low costs). You’d think that someone who works so much would gain some traction, or at least back into making a guilty pleasure or decently entertaining work. No go. Even the man’s “good” movies are not really that good and are understandably not ranked among films like OUR TIME WILL COME or, uh, COOK UP A STORM.

Bored Louis
“Am I supposed to care? Hurry this thing up so I can
take home some hardware! My tanning bed is lonely.”

So, what’s our conclusion here? That Patrick Kong having no films among THE BEST HK FILMS OF THE 2010s is an appropriate and just outcome.

Anyway, previous entries in this endless series, if it matters.
Numbers 75-61
Numbers 60-46
Numbers 45-31

Hit that jump and let’s get to the results! Seriously, I’m not getting any younger.

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The Best 75 Hong Kong Films of the 2010s - Numbers 45-31

Say hey to Day 3 of THE BEST HONG KONG FILMS OF THE 2010s, a countdown of HK movies from the 2010s that was voted upon by individuals who admit that they have visited LoveHKFilm.com. Your sacrifice is noted.

In this installment, we’ll be revealing numbers 45-31 and we have to say it again: If you’re just joining us, head back to the first post so you can read this countdown from the very beginning. That way, you’ll reduce spoilers and won’t be waiting for THE GRANDMASTER to show up, because it already dropped at #53.

Ronald Cheng
“Gah! How could THE GRANDMASTER rate so low?!?
I’m feeling the pain of a durian
passing through my lower intestine!”

Just kidding, it’ll show up in the 20-30 range.

One negative aspect to this voting, and this was also true for the BEST HONG KONG FILMS OF THE 2000s, is that running a vote right as the decade ends is bad for just-released films. Some popular films were only released in December and there was not enough time for people to see them. Likewise, BETTER DAYS and SUK SUK made the BEST 75 but might have ranked even higher with more time. Then there’s the excellent MY PRINCE EDWARD, which could have had a shot at a decent rank but has barely played theatrically.

At least Stephy is taking it well:

Stephy Tang

Previous Updates, if it matters:
Numbers 75-61
Numbers 60-46

Hit the jump and let’s keep this thing moving. It won’t end if we don’t.

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The Best 75 Hong Kong Films of the 2010s - Numbers 60-46

Greetings and welcome to Day Two of THE BEST 75 HONG KONG FILMS OF THE 2010s, which covers numbers 60 through 46. This series of blog posts reveals the results of an online vote by over 120 readers and passerbys of LoveHKFilm.com, a website that used to cover Hong Kong film and that you also happen to be visiting at his exact moment. Wow, talk about a coincidence.

As we’ve done with our previous reader vote THE BEST HONG KONG FILMS EVER, plus the votes covering the 2000s, 1990s and 1980s, this final result list was completely crowdsourced and involved people just randomly throwing out the names of whatever movies they liked. This can result in some weird ones - like how FUTURE COPS placed in the BEST HONG KONG FILMS EVER. I get hives just thinking about that.

However, it also contributes to some genuine surprises like, uh, COOK UP A STORM somehow ranking #71. Or at all.

Cecilia Cheung
“COOK UP A STORM placed on the list?
That’s really amazing! Who’s in that movie?”

Anyway, if you’re just joining us, you should head back to the beginning and see which films dropped first. You’ll probably discover that something you really liked is already eliminated from the competition. Don’t worry, ICEMAN is still out there. But no COOK UP A STORM, that’s off the board.

Nicholas Tse
“Screw this dude throwing shade at my movie!
Imma eff him up after I finish slicing this onion.”

Previous Updates:
Numbers 75-61

Hit the jump and let’s goooooooooooooo

(more…)

The Best 75 Hong Kong Films of the 2010s - Numbers 75-61

Hey, remember when we announced that voting for THE BEST HONG KONG FILMS OF THE 2010s was open?

Shu Qi
“………”

No? We’re not surprised, since the announcement was over four months ago and the world has basically gone to hell since. Our infinitesimally minor good news: We’re finally publishing the results of THE BEST HONG KONG FILMS OF THE 2010s, and we intend to get everything finished in the next several weeks. I would call this good service, but the parallel in the food industry would be getting your meal four hours after ordering it. Yeah, I wouldn’t tip either.

For official purposes: This is Day One of THE BEST 75 HONG KONG FILMS OF THE 2010s, which is based on votes submitted by actual fans of Hong Kong movies who took time out from violating social distance guidelines to opine which Hong Kong films from the 2010s tickled their fancy. The rules for this vote were laid out in the announcement, and in this particular post we’ll cover films ranked numbers 75 through 61. After that, we’ll publish posts with 15, 10 or some other number of films until we announce that the #1 film is not MEOW. It could be any one of your favorites starring any one of your favorite actors.

All these people have high hopes:

Andy Lau
“I like my chances! I’m thinking SWITCH or
WHAT WOMEN WANT will rate quite high with the fans!”

Donnie
“My photoshopped visage compels you to vote for AN INSPECTOR CALLS.
Also, TOGETHER is clearly an international favorite.”

Twins
“You’re putting us here to troll us, right?
We know we haven’t done anything popular
in the past ten years. Are we being punked?”

Nick Cheung
“I expect THE TROUGH will do quite well!”

Those opinions aside, you can expect MEOW star Louis Koo to show up many times. Without actually knowing the results (seriously, I don’t yet), I’d guess he’ll win the award for “person who had most to do with the Best HK Movies of the 2010s,” but we’ll keep track as we go. Usually it makes for a fun if completely needless side game.

Louis Koo
“The law of averages states I should kick
serious ass in this voting. It’s going to be fine.
I must continue to appear uninterested
or they’ll know I care.”

Also, a word of warning for anyone who chooses to read everything in these posts: Given the site’s M.O., we predict there will be many lousy jokes that are borderline if not completely offensive to your film preferences, personal beliefs, partisan politics or mother. If something bothers you, that’s great for you, but please do not try to refute or debate any of our likely terrible opinions. We submit in advance that these posts will contain an army of straw men and many references that are unfunny if not politically incorrect or unfathomable. That’s just how we roll when we’re not officially reviewing films - and even then we say lots of stupid stuff.

Ekin
“I confirm that they do say a lot of stupid stuff.”

So buckle up, let’s get this thing started! Hit the jump for #75:

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