It’s vacation time for LoveHKFilm.com - or at least, the person who runs it - so that means another 2 or 3 weeks of hand-wringing as we wonder if the site will ever get updated again. I’ll break the suspense by revealing that it will, indeed, get an update someday. After all, where else will I publish my review of KING OF SPY 2008?

This movie could be playing on You Tube right now

Also, Kevin Ma plans on reviewing Super Duper Communist Movie THE FOUNDING OF A REPUBLIC, which details the rise of Communism in the great country of China. I will not be around to see the movie, or I would review it myself. As has been noted on fine Internet publications, everyone who works at this site loves China. *whistles innocently*

Some photos from FOUNDING OF A REPUBLIC:

Donnie Yen and Vicki Zhao as a couple who celebrate
their 10th anniversary by joining the Communist Party

Eva Huang as the Cutest Member of the Communist Party™

Actually, what I’d really like to do is live blog the movie, so I can record the time that every single star appears. Such a list will surely help a ton of potential viewers who want to fast-forward through the film to see the stars (this is probably 80% of the Internet). Sadly, I don’t expect to see Huang Bo in the film, which is a travesty of cinema. Every film needs Huang Bo.

Huang Bo: making movies awesome since 2006

When I return from my trip, there will be a couple of new Hong Kong films on offer, namely the Herman Yau double feature SPLIT SECOND MURDER and REBELLION.

If you’re not Chinese and can name everyone
in this poster, you win a prize

The highlight of REBELLION: a leapfrog competition

The first is an idol-packed Halloween picture while the second is a long-in-the-can triad picture that was teased for release back in 2008. It’s sad the film actually didn’t get a release in 2008  since it stars Shawn Yue, who at this time last year was considered the Hardest Working Man in Hong Kong Cinema. The man had 10 features released in 2007 and 2008, and his only one so far this year will be a holdover from last year. What happened?

“People, hire me for your movies! I’ll work for food or tips.
Hell, I’ll work for you if you can recognize me on the street.”

When I return, the Hong Kong Asian Film Festival will be in full swing too. I may or may not review a slew of movies from it, as it’s been my recent pattern to only review Hong Kong films while carefully picking among the rest. I’d leave more to Kevin, but he’s a busy guy, what with school, his blog, the East-West Screen podcast and also his personal life. That he even visits LoveHKFilm.com must take precious minutes out of his day. He won’t get those minutes back either.

“Come on…who has time to waste at LoveHKFilm.com?”

Takeshi has a point. Anyway, here are my planned screenings at the HKAFF:

THE WARRIOR AND THE WOLF (with Joe Odagiri in attendance)
THIRST (with Park Chan-Wook in attendance)
INTO A DREAM
LOVE EXPOSURE (again!)
CROWS ZERO 2
AIN’T NO TOMORROWS
BE SURE TO SHARE
AIR DOLL (with nobody in attendance)
KIMJONGILIA
BICYCLE SIGHS
HAZARD
FINDING HER
SUMMER WARS
DAD, HOW ARE YOU?
WHEAT (starring Fan Bing-Bing)
WEAVING GIRL (Starring Yu Nan and Guo Tao. Guo Tao!)
PASTRY
BEIJING IS COMING
COW (starring Huang Bo!)
AT THE END OF DAYBREAK
SEVEN 2 ONE (Directed by Danny Pang)
…plus maybe some short films and some Bollywood, if I can squeeze it in. You can check out the complete list on their just-launched website.

That’s quite a list, huh? If you’re going to the HKAFF and select these films for your viewing pleasure then you risk running into me. If I do see you, I promise not to spit on you, but besides that, everything is fair game.

“Ha ha, people spitting at me is nothing! I’m used to much worse!”

Let’s wrap up this obligatory September post with a look at Leon Lai’s last concert, entitled DREAM WEDDING. The concert occurred a couple of months ago, but I’m only blogging about it now. It was a simple affair, with a small stage rather than one of those crazy stages inspired by TRANSFORMERS. As expected, Leon was all professional charm, meaning he was suave and punctual. At the end of the concert here was a Typhoon Signal number 8 and he practically sprinted off the stage.

“Typhoon warning? Screw the encore - I’m out of here!”

While at the concert, I snapped some pictures. Here’s a good shot of my vantage point:

 
Once again, Leon Lai is upstaged by cables

And here’s a photo of Leon Lai and special guest Janice Man, who wowed the audience with her red dress if not her actual talent.

The cables are still the most interesting part of this photo

And, finally a cable-free photo:

Leon gives the cheap seats some love

Overall, the concert was enjoyable but a little on the low-energy side. Then again, Leon Lai is not one of those “go all out, bust my ass” performers like Aaron “I almost die in concerts” Kwok. Leon is more of a suave customer or cool cat, which comes off charming at concerts but kind of dull on the big screen.

At least at concerts he’ll do his own stunts:

Is it hot in here or is it just Leon? Oh, it’s the fire.

My favorite song that evening was the wonderfully titled, “I Love You OK”, which is a lyric and song title that confuses me. Does “OK” represent the measurement of Leon’s love? If so, then the poor girl on the receiving end should look for someone who actually loves her more than just “OK”. Saying that you love someone “OK” is like saying that you love someone “somewhat”. Is that what girls are looking for nowadays?

Janice Man is looking for that number on Leon’s left leg

The other reading of the title is “I love you, okay?!?”, which implies that Leon Lai is impatient in declaring his love for his girlfriend. She probably asked for his feelings while he was busy playing BATMAN: ARKHAM ASYLUM for his PlayStation 3, and right before he got the coveted 40-hit Freeflow Combo, she annoyed him by asking “Hey, how do you feel about me?”. Well, if that’s the case - that Leon was going to get another Trophy to show off his leet status on the PlayStation Network, and then was rudely interrupted - then we fully sympathize with his impatience.

Either way, we know the truth: Leon Lai is not much of a boyfriend.

“Don’t bother me when I’m eating fruit, woman!”

Check out the song for yourself. BONUS: the video also features Athena Chu.

By the way, seeing Leon Lai in concert means that I have now seen every single one of the Sky Kings - Andy Lau, Jacky Cheung, Aaron Kwok and Leon Lai - after arriving here in Hong Kong nearly five years ago. This accomplishment brings me ever closer to getting the hell out of Dodge. Seeing all the Sky Kings in concert was one of the biggest things I wanted to accomplish during my stay in Hong Kong, and with that out of the way probably the most glaring thing not yet completed is meeting Ekin Cheng. If I can accomplish that, it may spell the end of LoveHKFilm.com in Hong Kong. Don’t worry, we’ll still review DVDs.

“You’ll still review DVDs? That was NOT what I wanted to hear!”

Oh, sorry. Well, off to Japan. See you in a few.

Again, it’s been a while. Chow Pak-Ho wears the message that I wish to share:

I know one person who owns this shirt,
and about seventy-five people who should wear it.

Welcome to your regularly scheduled bi-weekly Damn You, Kozo! blog post. As usual, I’d like to thank Apple Daily for supplying all our photos. Frankly, they’re the greatest newspaper in the history of time EVER.

Kelly Chen’s facial expression shows her appreciation of my sarcasm:

“Do you have to be such a prick?”

On to the actual subject here: Man, I’m beat.

The Hong Kong International Film Festival has finally ended the majority of its program, and I have zero screenings left to attend. I saw some good films and some bad films at the fest. Most will be showing up on LoveHKFilm.com as reviews, but there will likely be a few that I don’t touch. One film in particular I don’t wish to review because I was so unimpressed with it that even writing about it makes me sad. Also, despite the general perception that I’m picky and mean, I find negative opinion tiring and sometimes more damaging than saying nothing at all. So…at least one film won’t get reviewed.

Shawn Yue is down with that:

“Man, that’s awesome! I’ve so got the munchies.”

I also won’t be reviewing another film, Coffee or Tea, until its official theatrical release because the fest screening had a temp music track that I found egregiously overblown. As a result of its completely overwrought music score, my perception of the entire film was probably affected. I would prefer to wait a few months until its finalized before I pass judgment on whether or not I liked it.

Also, I got ill during the fest and missed three films, including a couple I was really looking forward to. Those films were the award-winning Home Song Stories, and quite sadly, the Lawrence Lau duo City Without Baseball and Besieged City. I’ll have to check them out later, but my attempt to be timely has failed miserably.

I did drag myself out of bed those days to check out a few films that I really wanted to see, including Sylvia Chang’s Run Papa Run, but thanks to my lack of complete recovery, I ended up with a five-to-seven day period of sluggishness and discomfort I fondly refer to as “Hell in March”. As a result of the sick days my work fell way behind, my LoveHKFilm.com review writing fell way behind, and this blog - which occupies a lower rung on the importance ladder than everything else in my life - fell totally behind.

So yeah, I’m tired. This is what I look like now:

Permanent ink is a real killjoy

Film Festivals are tiring - and potentially dangerous to my health - but I have to say that I really enjoy them. Prior to coming to Hong Kong, I was never really partial to film fests, but after attending a few here, I’ve changed my mind. I now like film festivals so much, that I simply can’t go a whole month without a new one.

As a result, I’ll be off to another film festival at the end of the week, the Far East Film Festival in Udine, Italy, where I’ll get to see one of Johnnie To’s new PTU television movies, plus The Sparrow, and a bunch of other Asian films that I look forward to checking out. I’m not sure why I’ve decided to go film-fest-o-rama with my life, but hey, that’s where the wind is taking me right now: to Italy, and far away from Hong Kong’s increasingly muggy weather.

As far as LoveHKFilm.com is concerned, all this rampant movie-watching means that I should probably institute a 600-words-or-less limit when writing future reviews because my potential review backlog will likely number twenty or more films. The other option is to turn off that portion of my brain, not review anything, and just act like your average paying audience member. It could make me happier. Like this man:

Andy Lau is thinking of the poor people
who paid to see All About Love.

Also, during my time in Italy, I will be completely unwired. I don’t have a working wi-fi laptop, and I don’t intend to queue for public workstations so it’s entirely possible that I won’t be checking out this site, this blog, or the entire damn Internet for close to a week. Once I return from Italy, I’ll have a whole slew of Hong Kong movies to catch up on reviewing, including the sequel to Barbara Wong’s Truth or Dare, plus the new Wong Jing spectacular My Wife is a Gambling Maestro. There’s also that Jet Li/Jackie Chan debacle movie, The Forbidden Kingdom, to check out.

Considering the above, this may be the only time I update Damn You, Kozo! in April. I would say that’s sad, but anyway, most of the stuff that appears on blogs is extraneous and unnecessary, so we can think of this month as simply “cutting the fat” from this website and the World Wide Web at large. I’m happy to do my part to slim down the Internet. We should get an award for Bandwidth Conservation.

These guys are also enthused:

“We support your decision to conserve bandwidth!
Please stop this website and blog immediately!”

No problem. I’ll get right on it.