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Note: This blog expresses only the opinions of the blog owner,
and does not represent the opinion of any organization or blog
that is associated with Damn you, Kozo!.

Two down, two to go…plus a couple of holidays and other random crap

Happy Lunar New Year!

You should see their other photos
Former softcore pin-up girl with current hardcore pin-up guy

Oh wait, the above photo has THAT GUY in it! You know, the one who’s at the center of Hong Kong’s bizarre media circus that needs its own Wong Jing parody film. Frankly, the “thing involving the pictures that resemble people who’ve worked with Charlene Choi” is all anyone can talk about over here. I would add to the constant buzzing in your ears, but it’s still not over and it seems that I change my mind about it every single day. Maybe I’ll say something afterwards.

A week or so ago, I said I wouldn’t make fun of it because it involved criminal activity and frankly, I was tired of the media coverage. I’m still tired of it, but now the whole thing has escalated to the point where I have to make fun of it simply because it’s the only way I can deal with the constant barrage of news and gossip related to He Who Shall Not Be Named.

No, not Voldemort. I’m talking about this guy again.

He’s livin’ large.
“I’m a good person!”

Um…no, you’re not.

At this point, everyone will come out of this debacle looking bad, including the participants, the victims, the media, the police, and the overexcited and frankly overjudgmental public. I’d give everyone a giant raspberry, but it’s so cold that I feel drained of the required energy to complete such an action. Instead, I’m providing this picture to illustrate how I see the entire mess:

FIGHT!!!
I’m betting on the kangaroo.

Sudden subject change: some weeks ago, I blogged briefly about my Andy Lau concert experience. Basically, it consisted of me marveling at the man’s endless energy, willingness to put himself in danger, and his unparalleled pitchman abilities. The concert was fun, because Andy Lau was Andy Lau. Accept no substitutes.

You won’t find any pictures of me!
“Thanks, Kozo!”

However, Andy Lau’s concert was only the second I’ve attended in my three years since moving to Hong Kong. The first one was Sammi Cheng’s back in May. Actually, I’ve seen her in concert twice before in the states, so basically this latest Sammi concert I attended was just like old home week. The fact that Sammi and I have both aged adds to the metaphor.

I actually wrote a Life with Kozo column about my Sammi Cheng Hong Kong concert experience back in May 2007, but it never saw print because I never got around to posting it. It’s buried somewhere on my hard drive along with some, uh, pictures I don’t want anyone to see.

Ed the Player
These pants no longer contain any mysteries

Thankfully, I attended my third concert just recently. I lucked into a ticket to one of Jacky Cheung’s remaining concerts here in Hong Kong. Here are some shots from Yahoo HK:

Jacky Cheung sings
“This one’s for you people in the crappy seats!”

Jacky and two others
Only Jacky is allowed to wear a jacket.

 

Jacky said during the concert that the dancers were all masked in order to make him look better. Personally speaking, I don’t think Jacky is all that bad looking, though someone I once knew had him classified in the “ugly guy, good singer” category, the implication being that there’s a category called “pretty guy, bad singer.” You can figure out who goes into that category yourself.

But I enjoyed Jacky’s concert a bit more than Andy Lau’s, to be honest. Andy is pure entertainment, but as a singer, Jacky clearly wins. Also, I sat in the cheap seats so I had no choice but to appreciate Jacky for his vocal range and ability to act effeminate without ever threatening his manhood. The man is multi-talented.

A sample of my perspective that evening:

Where I sat
The lightsabers were free

Sadly, Jacky did not have a guest performer - which really sucked because I was expecting something like this:

Jacky and Jacky 2
The number of people in this photo also attended Nick Cheung’s last concert

Now that I’ve seen Jacky Cheung, I’ve officially attended concerts for two of the Sky Kings. That’s two down, and two to go. Who are the remaining two? Well, there’s this guy:

Leon drinking
He’s been at this all morning

And this guy:

Aaron and pal
Aaron Kwok and a, uh, Golden Horse

I’m actually betting that Mr. Golden Horse will be the next one I see. After all, Aaron Kwok does have a concert going on right now in Hong Kong. Maybe I’ll luck into some tickets, and hopefully he won’t wear something like this:

Greatest Photo Ever
Insert your own caption here

By the way, we just had Valentine’s Day here in Hong Kong. Two years ago on Valentine’s Day, I went and hung out with a friend - who we’ll call Mr. G - in Lan Kwai Fong. We went to a party attended by other single people who had no Valentine’s Day dates. I actually didn’t want to go, but I went as his wingman. I still paid for my own drinks.

The highlight of the evening came when he introduced me to a pretty girl who worked in Central. Mr. G said to her, “This guy runs a famous website! It’s all about Hong Kong movies!”

“Really,” she said. “About Hong Kong movies?”

“Yep,” was my reply. My beer was warm.

She arched an eyebrow. “But Hong Kong movies are shit.”

Kenichi Matsuyama will tell you how I felt:

You suck!
“You suck, Kozo.”

Being single is tough.

A final dating tip for all the guys. If you want to do well with the ladies, you need one of these:

Edison’s Tool of choice

Just learn how to repair it yourself.

Photo credits: Yahoo HK, Apple Daily, a borrowed digital camera, and my hard drive.

16 Responses to “Two down, two to go…plus a couple of holidays and other random crap”

  1. LaiCheukPan Says:

    You’ve always amazed me with your subtle sense of humor. The part where the girl said to you Hong Kong movies are shit is simply priceless.

  2. Darren Says:

    LOL yeah that was funny, i thought it was gonna be a ‘i met my dream girl and we hooked up’ story, ur picture captions of edison are priceless lol

  3. LaiCheukPan Says:

    I just notice you replaced the banner with a picture of Twins kissing each other. Does this have anything to do with the Edison incident?

  4. Webmaster Kozo Says:

    If you’re asking if the current scandal played some part in me deciding to put Gillian and Charlene on the homepage this week, then the answer is yes. I usually rotate headers every update, and this time I just gravitated towards the Twins one for obvious reasons. There’s no real meaning, however. I have yet to commission a header specifically to represent current events.

    One day, after it’s all over, I’ll probably create one and put a “In Memory of the Dark Times” footnote on it.

    And the story about the girl at the bar is totally true, though I embellished it with the arched eyebrow. I may have also made up the part about her being pretty.

  5. MW Says:

    This was a great post, pure hilarity from top to bottom with a consistent theme. Everyone loses with this scandal… except maybe Kozo blog readers which makes for a good laugh.

    I’m noticed all (ALL) HK people I’ve talk to about movies say HK are shit now. Example, me trying to convince a friend who isn’t a hardcore HK movie fan to watch Mad Detective with me: “Let’s go watch the new Johnnie To movie; Nah I rather save money for Hollywood movies, there’s a better chance it won’t suck. HK movies usually suck.” Can’t argue with that one.

    Or the common phrase after watching: “It was good considering it is a HK movie.”

  6. glenn Says:

    Great laugh-out-loud post!

    My only question is what kind of guy feels the need to videotape and take that many pictures of himself in action? Am I just old or am I missing something? I guess if I was with those celebrities I’d probably want visual proof too.

    Is it true that Cecilia and Nic are getting a divorce now? (Not over the content of the photos but over the fact that they prove she was cheating on Nic while they were already a couple.)

    Sammi is playing soon in Mohegan Sun in the US. Wherever that is.

  7. Eliza Bennet Says:

    Thanks for the update Kozo, you actually managed to put a smile on my face with your comments re:pic incident.

    Having seen Jacky in person (also having gotten a “hello” from him) I can definitely say that he is not bad looking at all. He just is not very photogenic (as opposed to Aaron hahahaaaa)

    And if you think HK is cold we are here wearing wool jumpers under our heavy coats and no one goes out without a muffler :)

  8. Canton Kid Says:

    Damn you, Kozo! I just busted my spleen laughing at this weeks entry. I fully blame you. My hospital bill will be arriving in your in-box shortly.

    Also, regarding Ms. Central’s comment from 2 years ago. If it is indeed that case that Hong Kong movies are Sh@t, then perhaps we should feel fortunate to have ‘he who will not be named’ as a local star. As he pointed out in ‘Trivial Matters’, he excels in cleaning it up…. ;)

  9. quadshock Says:

    I really don’t think Jacky is bad-looking at all. In fact he stands out more as he ages, I think, which rarely happens to celebrities.

  10. peachey Says:

    Either Jacky’s improved in looks as he’s aged or I’ve gotten used to his looks, or both. He’s a fabulous singer. Unlike pretty boy (AK) who’s only got the moves (and some craaazy costumes). Which would you prefer? Me? - it’s the singing, stupid. haha.

  11. elena Says:

    this girl was stupid, la ;) it maybe poor consolation but when i lived in Russia and couldn’t read Chinese (sounds crazy isn’t it?) your web-site was one of my favorite (few in number)sources of information… hope this Valentine’s day wasn’t lonely ;) cheers!
    THANK YOU FOR ALL!!!

  12. Wanda Says:

    Jacky’s a phenomenal singer and one of the nicest people I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. I hung out with the other groupies at the Toronto airport to greet him in December and he remembered me from hanging out with the groupies in Hong Kong last summer! He’s just the sweetest person. I think he gets more attractive as he gets older. Not being a fan of Andy’s singing, I really have no desire to attend his concerts. I like some of his older movies though. Don’t care to know anything about the other two so-called Sky Kings. They do nothing for me. As for Hong Kong movies sucking, I just have to say that I really liked Mad Detective and Exiled. I didn’t think either of them sucked. Enjoyment of movies is really a subjective thing. Either you get it or you don’t. Sometimes the actors are vapid and disgusting and sometimes they’re nuanced and intriguing. It’s all in how you approach the experience and what you find interesting about the human species. Anyway, I love your website; I visit all the time for updates on Hong Kong’s movie scene. Keep up the great work. All the best!

  13. mae Says:

    Hahaha! This is awesome! Also, HK movies rawk, that’s why Hollywood re-makes them and the directors win Oscars.

  14. wakawaka Says:

    hey kozo…just wondering when are the 2007 lovehkfilm awards going to take place?…or…i mean the awards for the 2007 awards published?

  15. Webmaster Kozo Says:

    Hi wakawaka,

    I’m doing something different this year for the LoveHKFilm Awards, as eight people will now be participating to select the awards, instead of the usual committee of just one (me). It’s logistically more difficult, but fair and probably a lot more fun.

    I figure the awards will be posted either in late February or early March. Way before the Hong Kong Film Awards to be sure. Edison can’t win any awards this year, though next year he’s a lock for at least a few.

  16. Mei San Says:

    I attended Jacky’s concert in Bukit Jalil, M’sia last year too and all I can say is that I was totally impressed by this God of Songs. It was one of the most passionate and energetic concert that I’ve ever seen and it truly dust those young singers nowadays. The lighting, the stage, Jacky’s vocal range and his way of managing the stage were splendid!
    And the anecdote of Valentine’s day, i think it’s rather meaningful because we just have to deal silently with certain people who don’t care about the feelings of others when they speak. I never think that HK movies are shit and I truly appreciate the effort of those who work tirelessly for the better of HK movies =)

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