Because I still can’t finish yet another edition of Kozo’s Shopping Cart of Crap - it keeps ballooning because I keep buying more DVDs - I’m going to start yet another feature on this blog. It’s a Movie News Roundup, affectionately called “Damn You, Movie News!” But since everything is in newsbite form, we can also call it News Bullets of LoveHKFilm. We even have a mascot for the occasion:

Run, Leon, Run!

Note that this new feature will not take the place of the movie news that you can find on such fun sites as The Golden Rock or Kaiju Shakedown. I have neither the time nor language ability to effectively deliver news like those other sites, and some is probably so late as to be bothersome. Hell, this may be the only time I attempt such a feature.

Also, most of this news here is second or third hand, i.e. people tell me about it in passing and whatever I recall gets typed up here. What that means is that it’s practically all hearsay and should not necessarily be considered accurate. In this way, I’m not unlike many other members of the media.

CJ7 premieres!

Who in this picture looks the most unhappy?

Stephen Chow’s CJ7 just had its premiere here in Hong Kong, and reporters are all abuzz about the supposed frosty relationship between Stephen Chow and his new find, Kitty Zhang Yuqi. She’s the most comely female in the picture above. To better understand why Stephen Chow cast her, there’s this photo:

Stephen Chow has an undeniable eye for, uh, talent

What they’re saying is that she’s misbehaving and that Chow is blocking her from further opportunities, including a supposed Hollywood role in that rumored Will Smith-produced remake of The Karate Kid. At the premiere, the two reportedly never spoke or even exchanged eye contact. She was also late to the premiere and completely skipped an earlier promotion because she wasn’t feeling well.

If people recall, Zhang made headlines a while back when she went and got eyelid surgery during the filming of CJ7, causing potential continuity problems for the film, and understandably pissing Stephen Chow off to no end. Previously, Chow has had publicized issues with two more of his “discoveries”, Eva Huang Shengyi and Cecilia Cheung, though the latter was handled somewhat amicably - which was why Cheung ended up having a cameo in Shaolin Soccer. What this has to do with the current rumored Chow-Zhang rift is something that one can only speculate on. Go ahead and give it a try.

Possibly more frustrating to the average “who cares about gossip” moviegoer is the fact that numerous Hong Kong dailies, including the Apple Daily, Oriental Daily, and Orisun, revealed spoilers or the end of the film in their online and print stories. In the case of the Apple Daily, the ending was revealed in the story headline. The others were kind and either put the spoilers in the body of the story, or the sub headlines. This occurred in periodicals dated January 25th, 2008. That’s a full six days before the film’s release.

As a result of the above, the Hong Kong Media wins our Supreme Bonehead Award, which is reserved for those who ruin it for EVERYONE. Nice job, Hong Kong media! It’s days like today when the inability to read Chinese is a blessing.

By the way, I did hear that Kitty Zhang gave away the ending much earlier in Mainland interviews. She rocks!

This guy rocks, too:

“One day, I will leave this boy everything I own.”

 

CJ7 merchandising blitz!

Yep, now for an extra $19 Hong Kong dollars at Kentucky Fried Chicken, you can own your very own CJ7 plush toy with attached Fai Chun, or a new year blessing or wish.

I own lots of crap.

This particular one has carries the wish, “Girlfriend won’t change to Yu Fa.”

In case you’re wondering, this is Yu Fa:

Tsui Hark announces new film, abandons a dozen others

It seems like Tsui Hark gets attached to a new movie every other week (Like The Eye 3 - will he ever make that?), but the other day, he held a press conference to talk about his new film, which may or may not be a retooling of his classic Peking Opera Blues. Here’s Tsui with his actresses at the event.

“We’ve just hit our third bar tonight!”

For the record, the actresses are - yes, it’s her again - Kitty Zhang (in the fab platinum wig) , Zhou Xun and Guey Lun-Mei from Jay Chou’s Secret. The combo is certainly attractive from a male heterosexual perspective, but the released images are bizarre-looking, to say the least:

My guess on the English language title is Tsui Hark’s Powerpuff Girls.

I think Guey Lun-Mei is playing Blossom.

Tsui Hark’s 21st century track record doesn’t really inspire confidence, so it’s understandable if this new film is greeted with a collective raised eyebrow. I actually enjoyed Time and Tide and even Seven Swords. However, Black Mask 2 and The Legend of Zu were under whelming, to say the least.

But, as is the case with everything, it’s all in the eye of the beholder. There are some people who swear that The Legend of Zu is a masterpiece. I got an email once from someone who said, “You sir, are an idiot,” because I said in my review that The Legend of Zu was confusing and “like swimming in cement.” It was only my opinion, but this person was bothered enough to write in to ask me what the hell was up. Obviously I was heartbroken and went and amended my review right away.

And obviously, Stephen Chow hasn’t blocked Kitty Zhang from making this film, so, uh, I have no idea what the real story is there.

Yumiko Cheng stars in movie that most people probably don’t care about

Here’s a movie that I bet the movie geek websites are not talking about. Walking wardrobe malfunction Yumiko Cheng is starring in Yet Another Youth Film (NOTE: not actual film title) with Yan Ng, some guy, singer Jason Chan, some other girl, and a few other people. I predict many film careers will start and end with this movie.

A minute after this photo was taken, Yumiko Cheng’s top fell off

Here’s Yumiko attending the start-of-shoot ceremony. Her reaction to the ceremonial cutting of the roast pork is odd, to say the least:

“Ooo, he’s cutting off the head! Yay!”

 

Ekin Cheng stars in new film, almost hits pedestrians with car

Ekin Cheng is making a new movie! This is so exciting that I’ve decided to extend the lifespan of LoveHKFilm.com so we can at least review it:

“Hey, you’re that guy from Anna in Kung-fu land! That sucked!”

Ekin stars with Karena Lam in this romance, which marks the directorial debut of Ivy Ho, better known as the screenwriter of Comrades, Almost a Love Story and July Rhapsody. Ho also wrote Divergence and Linger, but our memory is selective and we can’t quite recall what happened in those films. Or, we don’t wish to.

Anyway, when shooting the above scene, Cheng accidentally put the car in reverse, annoying the locals with his lousy driving skills. So, besides his acting and his Mandarin, Cheng’s driving is also below par. On the other hand, this is the fourth time he’s co-starred with Karena Lam, so he’s obviously way superior to anyone here.

Damn you, Ekin Cheng!

“Look Karena, it’s that silly Kozo person. Let’s laugh at him together.”

 

Sammi Cheng returns from Everlasting Regret exile to make new film

Also on the movie rebound is Sammi Cheng, who teams with Eason Chan for a comedy in which she plays a police inspector.

Cheng waiting in the van:

Sammi Cheng mistakes the window for a mirror

The good news is that Sammi Cheng has finally chosen to return to Hong Kong film, and is doing a commercially-viable audience film rather than an award-baiting arthouse picture. In even more good news, the film is being directed by Alan Mak and Felix Chong, who made the underrated Moonlight in Tokyo and had something to do with those Infernal Affairs movies.

I’m not sure what the bad news is, but I’m sure the HK media will come up with something.

Wong Jing casts TVB starlet Fala Chen in new film

Making her screen debut in a new film is Fala Chen, who will be working with Simon Yam and Wong Jing on some unknown motion picture that will probably be better than Beauty and the Seven Beasts and worse than Colour of the Truth.

Hopefully, this is also her last film with Wong Jing.

In a coincidence, Fala Chen will also be playing a police inspector, though she’s obviously much younger and has arguably greater marketing upside than Sammi Cheng does. Who is Fala Chen, you ask? She was once crowned Miss Asia America, and is one of TVB’s rising starlets.

She’s better known around Hong Kong for appearing in dramas like this:

Plus posing for photos like this:

We call this fan service.

Francis Ng suffers for art, sports bad hair in film

Finally, in our upcoming movie file there’s this new film, starring Francis Ng and Taiwan star Terri Kwan:

“I had electroshock therapy yesterday.”

Eric Tsang is producing this thriller, which is about a hitman and a prostitute. I’m sure everyone is excited now. What I’m most excited about is Francis Ng’s hair, which may be more entertaining than the film, and could go down in the pantheon of Crappy Hair Hong Kong movies. Ng is a veteran of crappy hair anyway. Who can forget him in The White Dragon:

Not the new Star Trek movie.

Producer Eric Tsang is also a Crappy Hair Veteran. Check him out in A Wondrous Bet:

“It’s not alive, so stop speaking to it.”

Not to mention The Pye Dog:

“It’s also a mop.”

While we’re discussing Crappy Hair, the stars of Tsui Hark’s new film look a little extreme:

Pop quiz: Stephen Chow is unhappy with which girl?

But can their bad hair really top this trio?

How can they fight without depth perception?

And hey, who can forget this spectacular ‘do?

“It’s me again!”

Andy Lau refuses to be left out!

“Rule #1: Nobody talks about Fight Club.”

However, to me the greatest Crappy Hair Movie of all time is none other than Future Cops:

I bought a DVD of this film just for these screen captures

Why I fixate on movie hair is unknown, but that’s the way it goes. Bad hair and bad outfits are always easy to pick on because, well, they’re bad. It’s the same reason that we can’t stop talking about Wong Jing movies or D-War. Besides, hairstyles are fun.

But we’re out of news. Here’s one more picture from the CJ7 premiere:

CJ7: It’s really a horror film.

I love You Tube. It allows me to write next to nothing and still pretend that my blog posts are substantial. I may never write a full post again.

For some odd reason, I feel like sharing this commercial with everyone:

Every time I turn on the television in Hong Kong, I see this ad. I’m not exactly sure why it happens, but it happens. I think it’s following me. Anyway, as a result of Daniel Wu’s convincing concern for my skin, I’ve just bought a case of that product.

Also, repeated viewings of the commercial have given me the opportunity to perfect my Daniel Wu impression, most especially his inimitable way of mixing Cantonese with English phrases. I demonstrated it at work the other day and people went insane. Of course, it could have been because I was wearing this outfit:

Jay Chou’s washer/dryer combo fails him again

Yes, I used this photo last week. The above photo was from a Secret promotion in Korea. Afterwards, Jay Chou was voted as the worst-dressed celebrity in the country, an honor bestowed upon him by the netizens at sportsseoul.com. Really. I didn’t make that part up, unlike practically everything else that goes on this blog.

Oh, and this is my favorite commercial. It totally makes up for Chow Yun-Fat dropping out of Red Cliff.

By the way, Chow isn’t the only guy that pushes casinos:

I have no desire to stay at a hotel that lets its guests wear shoes in the pool.

In the interest of equal time, here’s a clip of Stephy Tang.

Commercials rock.

Next time: no words, only clips.

Happy New Year! At least, that’s what my parents taught me to say around this time of year. My version would be: it’s time for our customary New Year post, where I recap my 2007 and look forward to my 2008. I’m sure everyone is really excited.

Normally, I would drone on and on, but I’ll try to keep it short, because that’s how people like it. Especially Anthony Wong.

I will never grow tired of this photo

So here’s my 2007 in bullet points:
- LoveHKFilm.com finished 5 years online, but I did nothing to celebrate.
- The site had an official meeting with Hong Kong entertainment personality Andrew Lin.
- I stopped bi-weekly updates, and yet ended up updating even more. Nobody noticed.
- LoveHKFilm.com published 160 reviews. I think that’s a lot.
- The site passed the 1500 review mark. I also think that’s a lot.
- Added 3 blogs: The Golden Rock, The House Where Words Gather, and this one. So far, nobody has complained.
- Life with Kozo died. Amazingly, some people did notice.
- The site’s Alexa ranking improved. Whoop-de-damn-do.
- The site’s Google Page rankings dropped. Which leads to…
- The site’s traffic fell in November and December. I blame the drop on IMDB and Wikipedia, the two sites that leapfrogged LoveHKFilm.com in virtually every Google ranking. There were also others, but listing them would take too much time.
- I updated the polls less frequently. Nobody noticed.
- I got a new computer that doesn’t overheat. This is the greatest thing that has ever happened to this site.
- I saw Wong Jing in a shopping mall. He ran.
- I renewed the LoveHKFilm.com domain name for 9 more years. That means when it finally expires, I’ll be in the midst of a serious mid-life crisis.
- I continued to write way too much about subjects that don’t require it.

Here’s what I’d like to do in 2008:
- Publish at least 150 film reviews. Attempt to write at least 50 of those.
- Figure out what to do with this blog. If I can’t figure it out, mothball it and come up with something else.
- Find a way to shorten my reviews, if only to satisfy the silent majority who only read the first paragraph, the last paragraph, and look at the pictures.
- Actually work on improving my writing, if only to satisfy myself. I’m guessing nobody will notice.
- Maybe meet a second Hong Kong Entertainment personality. I’m guessing another member of Alive. I’m also guessing probably not Daniel Wu.
- To throw something at Wong Jing if I see him this year. I bought multiple copies of Cop Shop Babes for this reason only.
- To bring back the April Fool’s Edition. Maybe Ekin will run again for President.
- Be less concerned over the site’s Alexa ranking. Really, does Alexa actually mean anything?
- Get back to work on that LoveHKFilm.com revamp. I’m predicting it’ll be done by 2012.
- Sleep more.

Plus, I’d like to make an earnest attempt at reviewing this film:

To make this film, they placed the rim seven feet off the ground.

More than anything, I’d like to somehow find the determination to keep the whole machine running - and by that, I’m talking about everything, including my job, my social life, my minor hobbies, this blog, LoveHKFilm.com, and the Democratic party. Already things seem to be stacking up. Lots of movies are coming out, my job responsibilities won’t be changing much, I have a zillion ideas for blog entries, and there’s going to be an election. I’m hoping to get 2 hours of sleep per night.

Still, I’ll do my best. I will draw strength from from the determined expression of Baby Matthew:

When I face challenges, I make this face too.

On another note, I spent my New Year checking out Andy Lau in concert. Here are some pictures from my seat. They’re small.

Andy Lau misplaced his shirt before the concert.

Andy sits in support of the Writer’s Guild of America

Andy sings while piloting a Segway.

The event was important to me because I finally got to see a concert with one of the Heavenly Kings (Andy, Jacky, Aaron and Leon, and not those boys from Alive), meaning I now have only 3 more to go to complete the series. Sadly, I missed both Aaron’s and Jacky’s concerts. I haven’t missed Leon, but something tells me I would if it happened. It may never be.

Seeing Andy Lau is a trip. I don’t think there is a Hong Kong entertainment personality who works harder at pleasing his fans than Andy Lau. Not only does the guy perform for nearly 3 hours without a break (No guest singer!), but he performs from great heights, runs around like a madman, does all his own stunts, and even gives himself shock therapy during the concert!

Andy Lau uses Force Lightning on his back-up dancers.

Honestly, after seeing him in concert, I now have a deeper respect for the man, his tireless work ethic, and his amazingly sharp features. Way to go, Andy!

I still won’t buy a CYMA watch though.

“What about some bottled green tea?
My bare chest says you must buy some tea!”

No.

“Come on! Please?”

Well…

“Look, I’ll do some push-ups on this bar! Buy a green tea!”

Okay fine, Andy. You win. I’ll buy a case of your green tea, and I’ll also buy your new album, too! Happy now?

“Yes! Still got it!”

There’s just no refusing Andy Lau. From now on, we’re going to run his tea ads for free.

Buy some tea. It’ll make your whites whiter.

Note: Some photos of Andy Lau in concert taken from Yahoo.com.hk