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Note: This blog expresses only the opinions of the blog owner,
and does not represent the opinion of any organization or blog
that is associated with Damn you, Kozo!.

Damn You, Movie News! Thank you HK Media, for ruining CJ7.

Because I still can’t finish yet another edition of Kozo’s Shopping Cart of Crap - it keeps ballooning because I keep buying more DVDs - I’m going to start yet another feature on this blog. It’s a Movie News Roundup, affectionately called “Damn You, Movie News!” But since everything is in newsbite form, we can also call it News Bullets of LoveHKFilm. We even have a mascot for the occasion:

Leon Lai feels the burn
Run, Leon, Run!

Note that this new feature will not take the place of the movie news that you can find on such fun sites as The Golden Rock or Kaiju Shakedown. I have neither the time nor language ability to effectively deliver news like those other sites, and some is probably so late as to be bothersome. Hell, this may be the only time I attempt such a feature.

Also, most of this news here is second or third hand, i.e. people tell me about it in passing and whatever I recall gets typed up here. What that means is that it’s practically all hearsay and should not necessarily be considered accurate. In this way, I’m not unlike many other members of the media.

CJ7 premieres!

CJ7 Premiere
Who in this picture looks the most unhappy?

Stephen Chow’s CJ7 just had its premiere here in Hong Kong, and reporters are all abuzz about the supposed frosty relationship between Stephen Chow and his new find, Kitty Zhang Yuqi. She’s the most comely female in the picture above. To better understand why Stephen Chow cast her, there’s this photo:

Kitty Zhang Yuqi
Stephen Chow has an undeniable eye for, uh, talent

What they’re saying is that she’s misbehaving and that Chow is blocking her from further opportunities, including a supposed Hollywood role in that rumored Will Smith-produced remake of The Karate Kid. At the premiere, the two reportedly never spoke or even exchanged eye contact. She was also late to the premiere and completely skipped an earlier promotion because she wasn’t feeling well.

If people recall, Zhang made headlines a while back when she went and got eyelid surgery during the filming of CJ7, causing potential continuity problems for the film, and understandably pissing Stephen Chow off to no end. Previously, Chow has had publicized issues with two more of his “discoveries”, Eva Huang Shengyi and Cecilia Cheung, though the latter was handled somewhat amicably - which was why Cheung ended up having a cameo in Shaolin Soccer. What this has to do with the current rumored Chow-Zhang rift is something that one can only speculate on. Go ahead and give it a try.

Possibly more frustrating to the average “who cares about gossip” moviegoer is the fact that numerous Hong Kong dailies, including the Apple Daily, Oriental Daily, and Orisun, revealed spoilers or the end of the film in their online and print stories. In the case of the Apple Daily, the ending was revealed in the story headline. The others were kind and either put the spoilers in the body of the story, or the sub headlines. This occurred in periodicals dated January 25th, 2008. That’s a full six days before the film’s release.

As a result of the above, the Hong Kong Media wins our Supreme Bonehead Award, which is reserved for those who ruin it for EVERYONE. Nice job, Hong Kong media! It’s days like today when the inability to read Chinese is a blessing.

By the way, I did hear that Kitty Zhang gave away the ending much earlier in Mainland interviews. She rocks!

This guy rocks, too:

Edison and Stephen
“One day, I will leave this boy everything I own.”

 

CJ7 merchandising blitz!

Yep, now for an extra $19 Hong Kong dollars at Kentucky Fried Chicken, you can own your very own CJ7 plush toy with attached Fai Chun, or a new year blessing or wish.

I bought this
I own lots of crap.

This particular one has carries the wish, “Girlfriend won’t change to Yu Fa.”

In case you’re wondering, this is Yu Fa:

lee_kin_yan_2.jpg

Tsui Hark announces new film, abandons a dozen others

It seems like Tsui Hark gets attached to a new movie every other week (Like The Eye 3 - will he ever make that?), but the other day, he held a press conference to talk about his new film, which may or may not be a retooling of his classic Peking Opera Blues. Here’s Tsui with his actresses at the event.

Tsui Hark picks up three women
“We’ve just hit our third bar tonight!”

For the record, the actresses are - yes, it’s her again - Kitty Zhang (in the fab platinum wig) , Zhou Xun and Guey Lun-Mei from Jay Chou’s Secret. The combo is certainly attractive from a male heterosexual perspective, but the released images are bizarre-looking, to say the least:

My guess on the English language title is Tsui Hark’s Powerpuff Girls.

Pink and Dangerous
I think Guey Lun-Mei is playing Blossom.

Tsui Hark’s 21st century track record doesn’t really inspire confidence, so it’s understandable if this new film is greeted with a collective raised eyebrow. I actually enjoyed Time and Tide and even Seven Swords. However, Black Mask 2 and The Legend of Zu were under whelming, to say the least.

But, as is the case with everything, it’s all in the eye of the beholder. There are some people who swear that The Legend of Zu is a masterpiece. I got an email once from someone who said, “You sir, are an idiot,” because I said in my review that The Legend of Zu was confusing and “like swimming in cement.” It was only my opinion, but this person was bothered enough to write in to ask me what the hell was up. Obviously I was heartbroken and went and amended my review right away.

And obviously, Stephen Chow hasn’t blocked Kitty Zhang from making this film, so, uh, I have no idea what the real story is there.

Yumiko Cheng stars in movie that most people probably don’t care about

Here’s a movie that I bet the movie geek websites are not talking about. Walking wardrobe malfunction Yumiko Cheng is starring in Yet Another Youth Film (NOTE: not actual film title) with Yan Ng, some guy, singer Jason Chan, some other girl, and a few other people. I predict many film careers will start and end with this movie.

A bunch of people I don’t know
A minute after this photo was taken, Yumiko Cheng’s top fell off

Here’s Yumiko attending the start-of-shoot ceremony. Her reaction to the ceremonial cutting of the roast pork is odd, to say the least:

Yumiko and pork
“Ooo, he’s cutting off the head! Yay!”

 

Ekin Cheng stars in new film, almost hits pedestrians with car

Ekin Cheng is making a new movie! This is so exciting that I’ve decided to extend the lifespan of LoveHKFilm.com so we can at least review it:

Ekin Cheng renews his license
“Hey, you’re that guy from Anna in Kung-fu land! That sucked!”

Ekin stars with Karena Lam in this romance, which marks the directorial debut of Ivy Ho, better known as the screenwriter of Comrades, Almost a Love Story and July Rhapsody. Ho also wrote Divergence and Linger, but our memory is selective and we can’t quite recall what happened in those films. Or, we don’t wish to.

Anyway, when shooting the above scene, Cheng accidentally put the car in reverse, annoying the locals with his lousy driving skills. So, besides his acting and his Mandarin, Cheng’s driving is also below par. On the other hand, this is the fourth time he’s co-starred with Karena Lam, so he’s obviously way superior to anyone here.

Damn you, Ekin Cheng!

Ekin Cheng and Karena Lam
“Look Karena, it’s that silly Kozo person. Let’s laugh at him together.”

 

Sammi Cheng returns from Everlasting Regret exile to make new film

Also on the movie rebound is Sammi Cheng, who teams with Eason Chan for a comedy in which she plays a police inspector.

Cheng waiting in the van:

Sammi Cheng checks her makeup
Sammi Cheng mistakes the window for a mirror

The good news is that Sammi Cheng has finally chosen to return to Hong Kong film, and is doing a commercially-viable audience film rather than an award-baiting arthouse picture. In even more good news, the film is being directed by Alan Mak and Felix Chong, who made the underrated Moonlight in Tokyo and had something to do with those Infernal Affairs movies.

I’m not sure what the bad news is, but I’m sure the HK media will come up with something.

Wong Jing casts TVB starlet Fala Chen in new film

Making her screen debut in a new film is Fala Chen, who will be working with Simon Yam and Wong Jing on some unknown motion picture that will probably be better than Beauty and the Seven Beasts and worse than Colour of the Truth.

Fala Chen right before she shot the stuntman
Hopefully, this is also her last film with Wong Jing.

In a coincidence, Fala Chen will also be playing a police inspector, though she’s obviously much younger and has arguably greater marketing upside than Sammi Cheng does. Who is Fala Chen, you ask? She was once crowned Miss Asia America, and is one of TVB’s rising starlets.

She’s better known around Hong Kong for appearing in dramas like this:

Sunburn is bad

Plus posing for photos like this:

More Fala Chen

We call this fan service.

Francis Ng suffers for art, sports bad hair in film

Finally, in our upcoming movie file there’s this new film, starring Francis Ng and Taiwan star Terri Kwan:

Electroshock therapy is bad
“I had electroshock therapy yesterday.”

Eric Tsang is producing this thriller, which is about a hitman and a prostitute. I’m sure everyone is excited now. What I’m most excited about is Francis Ng’s hair, which may be more entertaining than the film, and could go down in the pantheon of Crappy Hair Hong Kong movies. Ng is a veteran of crappy hair anyway. Who can forget him in The White Dragon:

Wilson Yip’s best film
Not the new Star Trek movie.

Producer Eric Tsang is also a Crappy Hair Veteran. Check him out in A Wondrous Bet:

Eric Tsang flirts with unintentional laughter
“It’s not alive, so stop speaking to it.”

Not to mention The Pye Dog:

Eric in Pye-Dog
“It’s also a mop.”

While we’re discussing Crappy Hair, the stars of Tsui Hark’s new film look a little extreme:

Kitty Zhang and Guey Lun-Mei share hair tips
Pop quiz: Stephen Chow is unhappy with which girl?

But can their bad hair really top this trio?

My Shampoo is stronger than yours
How can they fight without depth perception?

And hey, who can forget this spectacular ‘do?

Glasses make the man
“It’s me again!”

Andy Lau refuses to be left out!

Andy Lau wants you to be quiet
“Rule #1: Nobody talks about Fight Club.”

However, to me the greatest Crappy Hair Movie of all time is none other than Future Cops:

Our hair will save the world

The real Dragonball movie

Jacky Cheung
I bought a DVD of this film just for these screen captures

Why I fixate on movie hair is unknown, but that’s the way it goes. Bad hair and bad outfits are always easy to pick on because, well, they’re bad. It’s the same reason that we can’t stop talking about Wong Jing movies or D-War. Besides, hairstyles are fun.

But we’re out of news. Here’s one more picture from the CJ7 premiere:

Chow
CJ7: It’s really a horror film.

22 Responses to “Damn You, Movie News! Thank you HK Media, for ruining CJ7.”

  1. TheGoldenRock Says:

    By the way, one of the big dailies have already possibly ruined Derek Yee’s The Shinjuku Incident, still starring Jackie Chan. I really hate Hong Kong newspapers sometimes.

  2. glenn Says:

    That’s a lot of babe-age; and here I feel like a male chauvinist pig when I do nothing but post pictures of Fan Bing-Bing on my measly blog.

    I liked Time and Tide and Legend of Zu a lot; Seven Swords a bit; But, Tsui Hark’s really planning too many things. Maybe what he needs is something as ridiculous as those pictures suggest? LoZ was ridiculous but beatiful in a weird way.

    And it’s a good thing my office is almost closed because I laughed outloud at that picture of Francis Ng with the psuedo-afro.

    I welcome back Sammi to the world of watchable films (fingers crossed); I’ve not had the interest to due more than wipe the dust off of the DVD of Everlasting Regret in the two years I’ve owned it.

  3. Ben Says:

    Very funny with the hair jokes.

  4. Webmaster Kozo Says:

    The media here is pretty bad, and if anything, accentuate the notion that Hong Kong entertainment is nothing more than crass, worthless crap. They seem to cover it that way, anyway.

    I once ran across a reference to me on a forum where I was called “perverted”. Actually, that was in reference to the Ekin Cheng April Fool’s thing from years back when I suggested that he may wish to two-time Gigi Leung, but I have no desire to appear like a male chauvanist pig either. I figure I’m safe since I post photos of Jay Chou, Andy Lau (shirtless), and Ekin Cheng on the blog too.

    Perhaps in my next post I’ll look for the most asexual photos I can find of Hong Kong superstars. Everyone will be wearing black turtlenecks.

  5. MW Says:

    I’m glad I don’t (can’t) read the tabloids. The news is mostly made up anyways. The new movie by Yumiko looks like a two-hour long motion ad for all the new singers this year (aka: it looks like crap).

  6. aircompass Says:

    I want to go to KFC and procure that exact plush toy and wish, even if I am a girl. I laughed a little too loudly at the library when I saw that.

    And I think Zhou Xun is playing Blossom. Hehe.

    I also read a translated version of the aforementioned “spoilers” for Derek Yee’s newest, and it ruins it for me too. The news gave me a bad taste in my mouth. :P

  7. Webmaster Kozo Says:

    Aircompass, you’re right: Zhou Xun is Blossom, and Guey Lun-Mei is Buttercup. This is what I get for being colorblind.

  8. MW Says:

    I think stars should be more careful with their choice of hairstyles in movies/life (points at Dior and Eric) because with the internet and this generation’s cynicism, those pictures can come back to hurt them or provide good laugh fodder. I mean, these people of professional stylists for everything… and this is what they come with?

  9. Viktor Says:

    Hey Kozo,

    just came across an old “Life with Kozo” column, entitled “Shu Qi and me”, where you complain abour webspace costs etc.

    Then I noticed that there is no “Donate” button to be found on lovehkfilm.com — why don’t you add one, so that your viewers can choose to contribute their share to maintaining this site (and perhaps say thank you)?

    Best wishes,
    Viktor

    P.S.: Does anybody know a good place in Taipei to buy non-pirated HK movie DVDs?

  10. Webmaster Kozo Says:

    Hi Viktor,

    Thanks for reading the old column. Actually, that “Shu Qi and Me” one is hugely outdated now. The site now makes enough through advertising to cover all the webhosting and assorted site costs. There used to be a Donate button but after a few years, I buried it. You can still find it but it requires digging.

    I don’t ask for donations anymore because it’s really not necessary. The site makes enough now to cover its material costs, which I’m really grateful for. If people want to support the site, they can buy DVDs or VCDs through the YesAsia.com affiliate links, or just participate on the blogs or forums. I would actually appreciate that a lot more than a straight donation.

    There’s another story about the donate button, and how it was once used for a donation drive when I was jobless and ultra, ultra broke. It’s chronicled in a couple of other Life with Kozo columns, and I may revisit the topic on the blog one day, if only for more navel-gazing.

    About a place in Taipei to buy non-pirated HK DVDs: unfortunately, I know of none. You can buy Taiwan DVDs in some places (Rose Record Stores, for example), but for HK versions, the Internet is probably the best.

  11. Jason Says:

    Hey Kozo

    Wondering where I can find a hi res version of that stunning bikini pic of Fala Chen? Yes, I’m a perv…:P

  12. shellie Says:

    koza, i love your writing! you had me cracking up with your photo captions. keep them coming cause you know we love ‘em.

    did you really buy the future cops dvd just for the captures?? LOL that’s a classic! :D

  13. Viktor Says:

    Thanks Kozo for your reply. Good to know that donations are not an issue. Will check out Rose Records tomorrow. Best, V.

  14. Darren Says:

    you should do more of these kozo, i actually found this post as funny as anything kaiju shakedown has posted

  15. TD Says:

    “beyond our chen”: i was wondering if the webmaster/reviewer/blogger has had anytime to rethink edmond pang’s film in light of the recent chen-chung-chan exposures. even if the pics are doctored, i can’t help but imagine that the three celebs are engaging in their own sordid sex games. but also, i now see pang’s film as a rather sophisticated look into the psyches of celebrities and (more importantly for me) the celebrity-obsessed (of which i am one), rather than simply a clever, ironic relationship film. any thoughts?

  16. Webmaster Kozo Says:

    In order of questions:

    Jason, I sadly don’t have a hi-res shot of the Fala Chen pic. My resources are really simple: I type 陳法拉 into Google Image Search and let them do the rest.

    Shellie, I did buy the DVD of Future Cops specifically for the screen captures on the review. That was four years ago. Still, I’m sort of glad to own the movie because it only gets more ridiculous with age.

    Darren, I’d like to do more of these, but I usually have to amass enough news to do it. I guess snippets could work too, and we’ve certainly had enough recent news to dish about.

    However (and this addresses TD’s question), the recent news out of HK has been appalling, to say the least. I may write something on the topic, but I’ll likely wait a bit longer to see what transpires.

    I usually have a good time making fun of celebrity mishaps (e.g., Yumiko Cheng’s frequent issues with her clothing), but I likely won’t be using this scandal as fodder for my usual questionable sense of humor. These are private pictures taken by consenting adults, and the damage to the players involved is as yet unknown. I imagine careers and possibly more will be destroyed by this.

  17. V Says:

    Kozo, in the CJ7 plush toy picture, what’s the name of the little brown toy that’s directly below the red wish ribbon? I think I’ve seen it somewhere, but can’t remember where. Help!

  18. Webmaster Kozo Says:

    Hi V,

    The little toy is a Dog from The Dog Artlist Collection(TM).

    You can find out more here:
    http://www.thedog-clubs.com/home.html

    Used to be that you could get a free mini-dog everytime you spent HK$20 at 7-11. I ended up with a ton of extras from those days.

  19. V Says:

    Thank you, Kozo.

    I didn’t know about the Dog Artlist Collection. So, I’ll have to continue trying to remember where I saw the look-alike. I was probably thinking of the Hoops & Yoyo guys from Hallmark cards.

  20. Gabriel Says:

    Ha ha ha, just read your most entertaining “Hong Kong Bronx” review. However–I just bought “SPL” based on your review, & it’s pretty much crap! The only thing it did was make me wish there was a better movie starring Donnie Yen & Simon Yam as enemies.

  21. Webmaster Kozo Says:

    Hi Gabriel,

    Sorry you didn’t like SPL. I enjoyed it, but more as a modern throwback to the HK movies that used to be a dime a dozen. It’s better than Flash Point, however.

    By the way, have you read this review of SPL?
    http://twitchfilm.net/archives/003565.html

  22. Gabriel Says:

    I’ve read it now. “One of the finest films to emerge from HK ever”?? What criteria are they using? Admittedly the staging & editing early on are striking–&, unfortunately, lead to high expectations that aren’t borne out by the rest of the film. Still, it’s quite a cinematic experience of the Donnie Yen sort. Anyway, thanks for your reviews, which I generally use as a guide for my DVD-buying. If only “Shoot ‘Em Up” were made in HK, I would’ve liked to have read your comments.

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